Tuesday, 03 November 2009

  • an evolving poem

    The heart is all-together stupid because no matter what the mind says
    The organ has a will of its own where you can say it doesn’t matter
    But then are unable explain the grossness of emotions pulsing out

    Why does lifeblood not listen to complacency? Or refuse to be led?
    Why the emotional freak out at the most inopportune times?

    Despise the water flow from your face, the nauseous intestinal flip within
    The inability to will it any way you wish like other external things
    Even the unintelligent know that both the stomach and mind have their appetites

    Foolish girl to think that you could shut it out, leading it any way you wish
    Better learn how to not care or want. Quick, fling away the hand and hug
    Curl up as a turtle inside the shell letting only eyes peer out with darts to kill

    Insecurity held at bay by the mind becomes illuminated in the heart’s view
    The mind knows who I am; why must the heart argue ignorance proving false
    Emotions appearing real, do they need someone to own; can they own self?

    Because when you like somebody everything about that person pleases you.
    He can do wrong. His interests become your interests. His skills, your wishful talents.

    The more time spent studying his personage, learning his hair, eyes, and mouth
    The more inseparable they seem, the greater your fondness grows for them

    You come to know that person’s ways so inexplicably that you can predict
    Preferences and needs, know each sound the other makes with its meaning’

    Together you form an alternate identity of self, one that exists only when united
    It isn’t just him you want, but the idea of who you are and could be when with him
    You read each others thoughts, feeling similar to each other, but still are surprised
    When learning something new of him with each day mixing all his subtle nuances
    Into colored canvassed scene more brilliant with each given glance – Give care,

    As you cross over into Expectation of Companionship, joy linked to his arrival
    Defenses up, close without connection, touching but guarded against heartsickness
    Bound to occur upon separation or seeing the presence of another face in your place

    Jealousy, an ugly word, where the worst is imagined as an internal precaution
    Plaguing self with horrendous possibilities and not because you want to believe
    But to bracing against deeper feeling, giving self shock therapy out of the infatuation
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