While making party conversation tonight one of my friends asked “Oh, so are you trying to be Jewish too?” I was shocked at the bluntness of her question, but to give a little context, we had been talking about different churches we’ve been attending and such. Which brings me to a very interesting observation, that of Messianic congregations. Are these an American phenomenon? And do they scare conservative Christians or Jews more? LOL… I mean to say, Messianic services certainly encompass a controversial milieu. For Christian culture it means recognizing years of anti-Semitism and Replacement Theology held by church founders, for Jews it means asking the question of labeling an ethnicity or practice… and can it really be practice if the Jewish person in question follows cultural traditions yet believes in Yeshua. Hmm… again, this is where things start to get sticky.

As an American-born W.A.S.P I appreciate the cultural richness that Messianic congregations have to offer. For while I am not ethnically Jewish, our culture has had a Judeo-Christian worldview and I grew up revering the Old Testament. So why then should my friend ask if I’m “try to be Jewish” by learning and observing traditions from the Old Testament? Maybe it’s because in the book of Acts church leaders wrote Paul saying there had been rumors going around that they were encouraging Jews to forget the laws of Moses, and then Paul follows the cultural tradition to show it was not so… that what was being taught did not mean abandoning heritage… And yet, in Christian culture we don’t necessarily seen the traditions of Judaism as part of our heritage? At least not in the sense of needing to learn Hebrew, follow religious holidays/ fasts, or practice the art of questioning?

Has it always been this way? Is it more evident in Protestant than Catholic congregations since the Reformation broke away from iconography and high order organizational/ tradition structures? And what of Israel? Are their promises from God seen as unimportant to Christian believers/ culture? I ask because I don’t know. I ask because I don’t think one can try to be Jewish just like one can’t try to be black or change something about their heritage… it is what it is… what’s been given… and yet I understand that there are conversions to Judaism just as there are those who call themselves Jewish-Catholics and so on. Is this the sort of labeling of post-modern times? How are Jews that believe in Jesus different than Jews that believe in Buddhism? Does their compound belief negate their Jewish-ness? And if Christianity came from Judaism, don’t I have access to its traditions as well? Hmmm….

I LOVE charismatic people. You know, those who can just speak peace into your life like some kind of calming drug? It seriously doesn’t matter how bad the situation or what they’ve done or you’ve done… they can just smooth over any nerves like magical Woebegone. It’s really, really great to be around. Yet sometimes I wonder what LIFE would be like if I didn’t have one of these charismatic blessings speaking into my everyday -- because in truth, I’m a mess of nerves. Thank you Dima for being so rational.

Some days emote more than others, and probably for a whole host of different reasons, but it’s always interesting to try and contemplate an hour’s worth of tears with a “what gives?” of frustration. This morning’s sermon acted as such impetus, my pastor speaking on the fatherless and the church’s responsibility for that which we consider now a problem of the state. “Social service that.” I found myself relating to the topic in that we all are responsible for the fatherless. Everyone is just as susceptible of perpetuating society’s lack of care for the single parent, foster-kid, and immigrant (examples from the 3 groups the apostle Paul charges the church to keep at the forefront of serving).

As an educator that comes into contact with these 3 groups on a regular basis, the idea hits me pretty hard. Despite the fact that I won’t profess to understand all the nuances that create these different groups to occur, I can imagine and articulate emphatic emotions for each. While our society might have a hard time keeping ‘family’ ‘bonds’ I think everyone wants something to belong to, and have something that belongs to them, maybe women especially as we can push men to the side once we get what we want… unable to really trust or believe in ‘bonds’ as a good thing (oh wait, I generalize the gender too much… sorry I was talking about myself). Whether it’s the single mom who feels better off on her own (and maybe she is), the teenager who looks for acceptance in all the wrong places, or the traveler who can’t even remember where all he’s been… these are the ones God holds close…

And that’s such a mystery because it goes against our values completely. Business will say you’re only as good as what you’ve mastered, be it a skill or some other competence. “Become so good they can’t ignore you” and the dividends will come pouring in. From an economic stand point it makes sense, but maybe Christianity as a worldview has ruined me from thinking this way… Which could be why everyone else seems so successful when I’m counting up my bills and waiting on my student loan to come through? ARG.

Here lies the current soul-disruption… how do I make sense of these two worldviews? I’d like to think there is motivation deeper than the economic. I’d like to believe in a God who cares about the underprivileged… but it’d sure be nice to “make it” in something. Does a businessperson think about God this way? Can him or her desire a God that doesn’t judge? Is that seen as weak in their eyes?... I ask because again, I don’t really understand the self-help phenomenon. Is it just a matter of training one’s self? It seems to work for some people… diets, financial planning, goal setting… it must have its place… Does Christianity show 'too much' grace, allowing us to be coddled, lazy, and overall still unhealthily stuck in our addictions? What part of healing '' is faith vs. pragmatics? Hmm… I don’t know.